My Filmmaking Journey and the Road Back to Faith

The Early Days

Growing up, I never had a clear idea of what I wanted to do with my life. I had no career goals and probably did not even understand what that meant. I was told I could choose anything. That sounds freeing, but for a directionless, introverted kid, it was anything but helpful.

When I was around fifteen, I became a Christian at a youth camp. From that point on, I knew that God was real. That belief, however, stayed separate from how I lived my everyday life. Soon after, I was introduced to alcohol, which became my way of escaping and fitting in.

Searching for Purpose the Hard Way

After high school, I enrolled in university to study science. I chose subjects I had no real interest in, which was an obvious mistake. I failed most of them and dropped out after a year. I felt pressure to choose something, anything, so I joined the Army as an Avionics Technician. It was a six year minimum commitment. I enjoyed the job well enough and I was not a bad tradesman, but I had no passion for the field.

What I did have was a friend who loved making short, funny videos on a basic digital camera. Our early work was crude, juvenile, and completely unserious. They would never win awards, but we had a great time making them. Eventually, we started making videos to songs by Blink 182 and the Backstreet Boys. To me, it was just a fun hobby we did in our spare time.

Around this time, I went through a breakup with my first serious girlfriend. My response was to drink more and party harder. When I was not at work, I was either drinking or making videos.

Travel, Restlessness, and a Creative Spark

I knew my time in the Army would not last. I had very little investment in the job. After discharging in 2008, I backpacked around Europe for seven months. I took countless photos and videos along the way, and for the first time, I realised how much I loved travel and adventure.

Returning to Australia meant returning to reality. I found work with a defence contractor, but the same internal struggle followed me. I did not care about the job, and I felt a growing desire to do something more meaningful with my life.

My twenties were marked by heavy drinking and partying. My new girlfriend at that time rightly saw this as a sign that I needed to grow up. Slowly, I began to realise that too.

The Midpoint

Throughout all of this, I kept filming and taught myself how to edit. At some point, I asked myself a simple question. Could I get paid to do this? I was almost thirty, and the idea of changing careers felt overwhelming. Still, I knew I could not spend the rest of my life doing work I did not enjoy. I started researching film schools and eventually found a small private college on the Gold Coast.

A month later, I was a student again. I did not know what to expect. I only knew that I loved watching images and sound come together to tell a story. During the course, I became interested in writing and directing, but what I truly fell in love with was editing and cinematography. Outside of class, I would recreate lighting setups, research films, and summarise what we had learned each day. My girlfriend barely recognised me.

I cut back on drinking, partly because I was a poor student and partly because I was focused. When I did drink, though, I drank heavily and often with regret. I remembered my faith and began wanting to be a better person. Relying on my own strength, I tried to improve a little each day.

Building a Career in a Fragile Industry

My film career took many unexpected turns. I ran my own business, worked on projects big and small, and eventually served as cinematographer on two independent feature films. That experience convinced me that cinematography was what I wanted to pursue. I had friends who wanted to direct, which felt like a perfect partnership.

While waiting for those projects to happen, I wrote and directed numerous short films. I built a showreel, made industry contacts, and eventually fell into teaching. I struggled with imposter syndrome, but I genuinely enjoyed it.

Creative careers offer different paths. You can freelance or take steady work. Money is always a concern in a gig-based industry. Some jobs last a day, others last months. Stable roles pay the bills but don't not always satisfy the creative urge.

Making Films in Uncertain Times

In late 2019, I decided to take a break from teaching to focus on big set work. This is how I'd forge my path. A few months later, COVID hit and everything shut down. Fortunately, I still had my job. During isolation, I decided it might be the right time to make my own independent feature film. I'd be the writer, producer, editor and cinematographer.

With Epstein dominating the news, I wrote a script exploring that dark subject matter. I found a director and another producer, and we entered pre-production. I poured my savings into half the budget, with the rest coming from a private investor. The budget was tiny, even with deferred payments, but we pressed on.

Three days before shooting, the director dropped out. I stepped in to direct, and my gaffer took over as cinematographer. It was September 2020, deep in the uncertainty of COVID. Lockdowns loomed constantly. Drawing on the experiences from every film job I’d ever been on; we managed to finish the film.

The movie, The Lost One, was made for under fifty thousand dollars. I was proud of what we achieved and hungry for more. I saw it as proof of what was possible.

Highs and Lows

At that point, everything in my life was connected to filmmaking. My relationships, goals, and sense of purpose revolved around it. I had also quit alcohol completely, believing this was another step toward becoming the person I should be.

Soon after, I worked as cinematographer on another feature and then wrote several scripts. I chose a simple one and quickly directed my second feature, Girls’ Night Out. This would be the next step before finally getting the budget to shoot a film properly. This was just a glimpse of things to come. I felt unstoppable.

Then my relationship ended. I had been so focused on the film that I ignored problems elsewhere in my life. The impact was immediate and disorienting. I leaned on myself to push through and finished the film, but deeper questions began to surface. Why was I making films? Was it worth it? What did I actually want? My film passion faded.

The Way back

God had always been in the background of my life. I would pray at night for forgiveness, just in case heaven was real. Looking back, I see that just as I needed every filmmaking experience to make The Lost One, I needed every life experience to get through this time in my life.

This time, I did not turn to alcohol. Quitting had given me clarity. I reflected on how I handled past breakups and put structures in place to care for my mind and body.

When I began dating again, I asked better questions. What values do we share? What do we want from life and from each other?

On one date, I was asked why I had listed Christianity on my profile. I could not answer at first, but it was a nudge. Another woman said she would attend church with me if I found one I liked. I searched online and found City on a Hill. It was the first week of a seven-part series, and I decided I could commit to seven weeks.

Those seven weeks turned into Bible studies, daily reading, and a deeper understanding of who Jesus is. I began to see how He had been present throughout my life.

Creating With Faith at the Centre

I returned to teaching and slowly rediscovered my love of filmmaking. My faith is now central to every project I accept. Looking back, I can see how spiritual themes were already present in my writing. Now, they are no longer hidden. My comic series Gunpowder is moving Christ from the edge to become one of the of cores.

I'm meeting more Christians in the film industry, and we discuss how the world is hungry is for stories of faith and redemption. I'm in a strong relationship with a wonderful Christian woman. I have a job I enjoy and a supportive circle of friends.

Life is not perfect. I am still learning, still questioning, still making mistakes and still growing in faith and career. I don't know exactly what the future holds. I only know that I want God at the centre of it, whatever comes next.